


is this the sacrifice for the broken, loosing the purest of what's in your heart?

by WhyDontWeBegin



Series: As I Fall [9]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Blizzards, F/F, F/M, Feelings, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), How Do I Tag, M/M, Multi, Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, hey look at me back on my bullshit, im back on my bullshit folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22723690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyDontWeBegin/pseuds/WhyDontWeBegin
Summary: Zephirin and Haven made their choice. Things change. But they cannot- will not abandon Kura now.
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Estinien Wyrmblood, Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light, Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light/Estinien Wyrmblood, Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Zephirin de Valhourdin/Original Character(s), Zephirin de Valhourdin/Warrior of Light
Series: As I Fall [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1262435
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	is this the sacrifice for the broken, loosing the purest of what's in your heart?

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in the works for A While wow uh  
> I'm sorry in advance but im back on my bullshit

There was a pregnant pause. Zephirin heard Haven shift by his side uncomfortably, where he maintained eye contact with Aymeric. The Lord Commander was flanked on either side by his own soulmates- he could feel Estinien boring holes in him despite the helm hiding his face, and Nadia’s expression was cold and unreadable as she looked between him and the Paladin. (The other Warriors, the woman, and the young boy and Lalafell yet hovered around them, uncertain what to make of what they had been told.)

“So. _You_ are their third,” the Scholar began. Zephirin had a sudden epiphany that _oh, Nadia’s about to threaten me_ , because the look on her face was _dangerous_. “I _swear_ , if you hurt them, neither the Fury nor _all_ of the Twelve will be able to save you.”

He expected something more graphic, actually, but Zephirin suspected it could’ve had something to do with Aymeric’s presence. The man ever had a way of keeping the two dragoons he was bound to in check. (He wished they would just _help_ , Kura was out there _alone_ and hurting. He didn’t need to feel her emotions to know that.)

Haven sucked in a breath, jaw clenching for a moment before she spoke. “It doesn’t _matter_. If we do nothing, there will be no third to speak of.”

Her words weighed heavily in the room. The implication, that they would loose an ally and trusted friend, seemed to remind them that there was more to this than just Zephirin being so close to them. (Haven didn’t _care_ , she just wanted Kura back, wanted to save Zephirin. She wanted this madness to _end_.) “What are we to do about it? If she does not want to be found…”

“Aymeric,” Nadia whispered. “It doesn’t matter if she wants to be found. I refuse to abandon her now.” Her statement was met by nods from her allies- and a grunt of agreement from Estinien. The two weren’t particularly close, but she was still a Warrior of Light. Even if she did not consider herself such. The Lord Commander sighed.

“Then how should we go about it?”

“Not even I can reach her if she wants to avoid me,” Haven admitted. “But we never had Zephirin then- but she’s never been more desperate to run…”

Everyone around Zephirin started to debate on how to find Kura. He took several steps back to watch as he thought on his own.

“But a blizzard _is_ supposed to be coming in within the next few days,” Nadia commented, catching his attention.

“Meaning Kura will be forced to seek shelter,” finished the Doman Au Ra of the group. (He couldn’t remember her name for the life of him... something Haven would scold him for.)

Zephirin realized he knew exactly what Kura would do, looking down at his left hand, at the somewhat translucent string that lead to her. She wouldn’t seek shelter, she’d keep going _through_ the blizzard- grit her teeth and weather the storm. But...

No one noticed the door fall shut, nor the missing member of their group.

—

Zephirin had only just arrived in Falcons Nest when he saw ominous clouds moving in on the horizon. He knew full well the blizzard would be upon them in only a matter of minutes. A quick scan of the settlement revealed that almost everyone was already indoors, but Zephirin had no intention of seeking shelter- a glance down confirmed what he already knew: Kura was out there in the Highlands, with no blade nor armor to protect her from the elements and wildlife alike. (Frankly, he was more worried about the former than the latter- Zephirin had little doubt she could handle anything that may attack her with her bare hands. But her attire was far from suited to the current weather, in a blizzard she was all but doomed.)

With a single destination in mind, he steeled himself, left the chocobo he’d taken to arrive, took his bag and knowingly marched into the coming storm.

—

“Wait- where’s Zephirin?”

It was Nadia who noticed first. The debate on what to do came to a sudden halt as Haven turned and went white as a sheet, looking down at her left hand and back up. “He went after her,” she said after a moment. “Alone.”

“Estinien, Nadia-“

“We know,” Estinien said, voice low, cutting Aymeric off as he pushed himself off the wall. The two Dragoons left the room with no further words. Haven shifted her weight, looking back at the Lord commander in confusion.

“They’re searching the city,” he explained, “if he’s still in Ishgard, we’ll know.”

Haven looked down at her left hand, at the strings, and prayed they would be fast enough.

—

Zephirin pulled the cloak tighter around him. It’d been a bell since he’d left them, and half a bell ago he’d arrived in Falcon’s Nest. Shortly after, Haven had realized he was gone.

Now, he was in the thick of a blizzard, and it was freezing. He could only imagine how cold Kura must’ve been. (He had to hurry. He had to. If he was even a _second_ too late-

No. No, he didn’t want to think about that.)

He looked down at his left hand, frowning, and abruptly veered left. Off the path. It was dangerous, and stupid, but dangerous and stupid was most of his lot now. He was bound to not one but _two_ Warriors of Light, it just wasn’t really in the cards to be anything else.

Also, Kura was nothing short of a fucking moron. That point was more than slightly reiterated by this entire situation.

And yet…

(Zephirin remembered how she had held him that night, when he had a dream he couldn’t remember that left him shaking and trembling and _terrified_. How she’d supported him when he vomited, and pulled him back against her chest, whispering reassurances, and brushing sweat-soaked hair from his face. Her hand, palm rough against his cheek, holding so much power. The power of a _dark knight_ , which she wielded as easily as breathing, nothing short of bathed in her own darkside. He knew that power had been at her fingertips, aether thrumming under her skin in a steady rhythm, and he remembered how he’d focused on her, and felt a phantom of it under his own. Distant, but so, so _strong_ , a torrent of darkness and pain and hate. Yet it was _subdued_.

He wondered, now, if that was because of him. Because Kura had handled him so, so gently, as though there wasn’t the blood of thousands on her hands, as though _his_ blood wasn’t on her hands— as though she were still a protector instead of someone so broken and hurt that she’d let the darkness in. Knowing what he did now, he wondered if his dream had been a phantom of _her_ past. Because he could remember the nights where she’d been the one to wake abruptly, and when he’d stirred he found her sitting up, staring at her hands, a look on her face he’d never seen at any other time.

Zephirin had never told Haven of those nights, where Kura had tears in her eyes and the names of the dead on her lips, their faces in her mind. Never told Haven of how their other had always flinched away when he reached out, like she was afraid— something he now knew wasn’t fear _of_ him, but _for_ him.

He’d never said anything about how she shook, or how she’d clung to him like a lifeline.

But now he knew _why_.)

—

Haven knew already that Zephirin was in the highlands, deep down, but she had to hope. She _had_ to, though she knew as she looked around Saint Reinette’s Forum that she would not find him.

What she _didn’t_ know was that _she_ was the one to be found. A low growl from behind and a heavy hand landed on her shoulder, spinning her around to face the dark-skinned elezen (Ser Charibert, her mind supplied, she knew not if it was from what she had learned of the Heavens’ Ward or Kura’s memories, lingering still so strongly, Echo or not) and his blatantly hostile behavior.

“Where is he,” he snarled, advancing. Haven instinctively took a step back, blinking in confusion. “ _Where is he?!_ ”

“Wh-what are you talking about-“

“Do _not_ try to play me for a fool, _lizard_ ,” Charibert hissed, continuing his advance. Haven couldn’t stop herself from backing away, his eyes wild and the snarl on his face paired with her own turmoil and desperation leaving her bereft of her courage. “Where is Ser Zephirin?!”

...

Zephirin. Zephirin, who had gone after Kura, who she knew was in the middle of a blizzard somewhere in the highlands, who she knew was alone because she would _know_ if he’d found Kura. Who was searching desperately for their wayward dark knight, who had done _so much_ for him, for them. She remembered how he’d looked in Kura’s memories, that last time, reaching out to her with so much _guilt_ and _regret_ , free from his tempering only in his final moments.

Haven saw _red._

“What do _you_ know?!”

Charibert looked surprised, shocked, taking a step back from this small, petite woman with her ivory scales and light-colored armor. This Au Ra who had just looked so _small_ and _timid,_ but then she looked back up at him and her eyes were wild, alight with a rage he hadn’t thought _her_ capable of, only the ebony-scaled dark knight who looked so similar to her. But the look on her face was terrifyingly similar, the force of her aggression causing a cold sweat to break out on the back of his neck.

This rage was so similar to that of the dark knight, a raging beast though she was in comparison, and to learn this woman was just as capable was horrifying in its own right.

“What do you even _care_?! You, who have lied to your nation, to your people! And for _what_?! To continue this cycle, so that more people can be hurt in the way Nadia and Estinien have?! For your thrice-damned _pride_?!”

A step forward, and he took a step back. “Well I hate to break it to you, but if Ishgard is _destroyed_ and you’re all _dead_ , you can’t have any pride to speak of! Then what will it all have been for?! Your _sacred_ quest?! And you would come to _me,_ call _me_ a heretic, a villain, when all me and mine have done has been to protect the people of Ishgard! _YOUR_ people!”  
  
She stopped advancing, then, drawing back and taking a shaky breath.

“When _we_ have fought to protect _you_.”

Before Charibert got another word in, the paladin walked past him. But that wasn’t what left him reeling.

_Her expression had been just like the dark knight’s._

_—_

Zephirin felt _rage_.

It took him a moment to realize that this rage was not his own, and he knew it wasn’t Kura’s, but it was _very, very_ similar. Like Kura’s, it was like a _storm_ , raging and all-consuming. But it was not overwhelming- not to Zephirin, anyways, but whoever it was who had earned Haven’s ire he was certain had not expected it.

Zephirin realized he wasn’t sure he’d ever even _felt_ this level of anger from Haven. From Kura, of course, but darker and its intensity increased tenfold. If Haven’s rage was a storm, then Kura’s was a _blizzard_ , nigh-impossible to navigate, overwhelming and consuming. (But it was red, red, _red_ as blood, pure white turned-)

He shook the invasive thoughts away, phantoms of Kura’s. Perhaps he could not feel what she was, but he was focusing. He was _trying_.

Abruptly, the cold he felt increased tenfold. He’d gotten through- or she’d let him, he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter.

Zephirin broke out into a run, blizzard be damned. Phantom weakness hit his senses, phantom numbness. Kura couldn’t feel her hands or feet. She was _—_

_(Darkness)_

_No._

_(Awareness, slowly fading. A fight just to stay awake. It was so tempting to just… let go…)_

_No!_

_(Phantom memories. Each and every last one were of him, and her, and Haven.)_

_KURA!_

Nothing.

Zephirin felt _fear._

Haven felt it, too.

—

Haven staggered and her shoulder hit the wall. All eyes turned to her, a tense silence falling over the room.

Miho knew the look on Haven’s face. That was pure, untouched _fear_. Desperation, panic. Something was very, very wrong. She saw Alphinaud pale as the realization hit him. Nadia’s expression turned grim. Tataru looked horrified.

“No,” Haven mumbled.

Sienna’s hand came to rest on Miho’s shoulder and the Doman looked back at her wife. Her love. (Her soulmate, who had come for her when no one knew where she was, even if they were apart. Sienna, who had known she was in danger, and known Miho was still angry, but she came anyways because that’s what you do when you love someone. You’re there when they need you most, even if they don’t want you.) Violet eyes, knowing and vibrant, stared back.

A phantom thought. _He’ll find her. He’ll find her like I found you._

Miho nodded, looking back to Haven.

“He’ll find her.”


End file.
